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What Mom taught me
MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other,
do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear
in case you're in an accident."
MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you
something to cry about."
MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
MOM taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming
toward you, would you listen then?"
MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million
times - Don't exaggerate !"
MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
MOM taught me about FOREIGN POLICY;
"Eat your vegetables! Children are starving in India!"
MOM taught me about BUNGEE JUMPING:
"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do it too?"
MOM taught me about ALTERNATIVES TO COSMETIC SURGERY:
"If you don't stop making that face it'll freeze like that!"
MOM taught me about AVIATION:
"When are you going to straighten up and fly right!?"
And most of all ..... MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world - and I can take you out."
Don't forget your mother on May 12 Mother's Day
MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other,
do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear
in case you're in an accident."
MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you
something to cry about."
MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
MOM taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming
toward you, would you listen then?"
MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million
times - Don't exaggerate !"
MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
MOM taught me about FOREIGN POLICY;
"Eat your vegetables! Children are starving in India!"
MOM taught me about BUNGEE JUMPING:
"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do it too?"
MOM taught me about ALTERNATIVES TO COSMETIC SURGERY:
"If you don't stop making that face it'll freeze like that!"
MOM taught me about AVIATION:
"When are you going to straighten up and fly right!?"
And most of all ..... MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world - and I can take you out."
Don't forget your mother on May 12 Mother's Day