[laster]

What Mom taught me

MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other,
do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear
in case you're in an accident."

MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you
something to cry about."

MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

MOM taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming
toward you, would you listen then?"

MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million
times - Don't exaggerate !"

MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

MOM taught me about FOREIGN POLICY;
"Eat your vegetables! Children are starving in India!"

MOM taught me about BUNGEE JUMPING:
"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do it too?"

MOM taught me about ALTERNATIVES TO COSMETIC SURGERY:
"If you don't stop making that face it'll freeze like that!"

MOM taught me about AVIATION:
"When are you going to straighten up and fly right!?"

And most of all ..... MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world - and I can take you out."

Don't forget your mother on May 12 Mother's Day

 

[Stuchamp]

Man, do those ever sound familiar !:laugher: :laugher:

 

[OldMagicfloat]

:laugher: :laugher:

 

[insptech]

So true....So true

 

[Red Stripe]

:laugher: :laugher: :laugher:

 

[OldMagicfloat]

I'm giving my mother a IOU this year.Hey,I already paid for it

 

[obnoxus]

I'm still trying to figure out why my dad slaps my mom every mothers day ?????