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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
"Attempted Murder"

Wanted for Attempted Murder (the actual AP Headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, Was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for awhile became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into her car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of the head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.



And Yes, Linda is a BLONDE...

:D

This story came from:
http://jksalescompany.com/ken/funny.htm
 

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo your going to get it for that one !!!!!!!!!!
 

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how about this though?

WHEN A MAN ATTEMPTED TO SIPHON GASOLINE FROM A MOTOR HOME PARKED ON A SEATTLE STREET, HE GOT MUCH MORE THAN HE BARGAINED FOR.

POLICE ARRIVED AT THE SCENE TO FIND AN ILL MAN CURLED UP NEXT TO A MOTOR HOME TRYING TO STEAL GASOLINE. HE HAD MADE THE MISTAKE OF PLUGGING HIS HOSE IN TO THE MOTOR HOME'S SEWAGE TANK INSTEAD OF THE GAS TANK.

THE OWNER OF THE VEHICLE DECLINED TO PRESS CHARGES, SAYING IT WAS THE BEST LAUGH HE'D EVER HAD.
 

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ok, ok....

AN ELDERLY WOMAN SPENT A DAY SHOPPING AT THE MALL. UPON RETURNING TO HER WEHICLE, SHE FOUND FOUR STRANGE MALES SITTING IN HER CAR.

FRIGHTENED, THE WOMAN DROPPED HER SHOPPING BAGS AND DREW HER HANDGUN. SHE TOLD THE MEN THAT IF THEY DID NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR, SHE WOULD SHOOT. THE FOUR MEN RAN OFF QUICKLY, WHEREUPON THE LADY GOT INTO THE CAR.

HER KEY HOWEVER, WOULD NOT FIT. THE WOMAN REALIZED THAT HER CAR WAS THE IDENTICAL ONE PARKED A FEW SPACES DOWN.

SHE WENT TO THE POLICE DEPARTMENT AND REPORTED THE STORY. THE OFFICER ON DUTY LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AND POINTED TO THE OTHER END OF THE COUNTER WHERE FOUR PALE MEN HAD REPORTED A CAR JACKING BY A MEAN OLD LADY;

NO CHARGES WERE FILED.
 
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