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Two Irish fishermen are out fishing when their boat starts to sink. They get into their dory and after a few days of drifting on the sea, one of them sees an old lamp in the bottom of the dory. He thinks to himself, what the heck maybe I will be lucky, so he rubs the old lamp. A genie appears and tells him that he can grant him only one wish then he will disappear. The Irishman thinks for a moment then says make the ocean into the finest beer in the world. Poof, it happens and the genie vanishes. The Irishman tries the beer and it is the best he has ever tasted. Try it he says to his fellow Irishman. Well, it is very good, but look at the mess we're in, now we have to pee in the boat!

There were two old boys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted
to do some ice fishing.

They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."

So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back. "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how
are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet."

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