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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everybody, it's been a while since I've been on - I've been pretty consumed with life.

Some of you probably remember I had a baby about 5 months ago. She is absolutely wonderful, healthy, and growing like a weed, I don't want anyone to get nervous that something may be wrong with her after reading my opening comment. However, my marriage is not ok - in fact, it's over, well, except for the legal part.

Now, I'm not on here for a pity party, please don't think that - in fact, it was a decision I've been wrestling with for quite some time. We had some trouble a year and 1/2 ago now, tried working on it, wound up expecting, then not long after I felt like we fell back into the same rut. Since she was expecting, I thought maybe things would change and when we had the baby, they just didn't. I realized there is never a good time to get a divorce, especially with a child involved, but the only saving grace I had going for me is that my daughter will have no memory of the rough times we've been going through right now and by the time she is old enough to have memories, it is just the way life is.

So, my boat has not even left the shed this year and probably will not for the remainder of the season. The house I built is for sale, she is living there and I have an apartment, but you know what - I feel a huge weight lifted from my chest, and I've began moving on with life. Now it is a waiting game with the court system, but everything is set up. I get my daughter 3 times a week and things have settled down significantly, which is why I can finally come on here and talk about it a little. I will say, things were pretty hairy for a while, and I'm sure I'm not out of the woods yet, but I know I'm getting close.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to let everyone know I haven't forgotten about speedwake and I'll probably be on more going forward than I have been the past 4 or 5 months.
 

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Rock Steady
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Sounds like you have life by the horns so to speak, you know CRAP happens and life goes on... I know I have been threw hell and back but I'm still here Kickin like never before....
 

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Sorry to hear about your troubles. Been down that road. It can be a bumpy one too. Just remember your child is the most important thing. Everything else is replaceable. Good luck
 

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I just recently went through the same, my son was 1.5 when it started. I have 50% custody and although I never wanted it to happen, I've learned to accept it and move on. Though it took me a long time.

Take care of that beautiful baby girl and good luck with everything else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Oh, you mean the 42" plasma and the lawn chair? :laugher:

Priorities right! Seriously, I bought a new bedroom set and the TV. Other than that, old kitchen table that was in the basement, old couch my grandma gave me 8 years ago, old dishes from a friend.

Once this is over and the house is sold, I want to buy another house, but I can't do ANYTHING at the moment - those that have been through it understand.

Hey, where's Ghart - he's done this a few times hasn't he?
 

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cads03 said:
Oh, you mean the 42" plasma and the lawn chair? :laugher:

Priorities right! Seriously, I bought a new bedroom set and the TV. Other than that, old kitchen table that was in the basement, old couch my grandma gave me 8 years ago, old dishes from a friend.

Once this is over and the house is sold, I want to buy another house, but I can't do ANYTHING at the moment - those that have been through it understand.

Hey, where's Ghart - he's done this a few times hasn't he?
EVERY guy I have talked to did the exact same thing when they moved out or the wife moved out, they went and bought themself a sympathy TV. I Went with some sort of 50" Samsung. No idea on specs..... I too took the old kitchen table from the basement, the old dishes, etc.

Good luck man.
 

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Stokers Rule
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Hope things go well for you and especially that little precious girl.



Buddy I work with tried kind of like you said, she got pregnant he hoped things would change, she got pregnant he hoped things would change.......... and this happened three times and now he is waiting for the judge to make the final ruling. He said the same thing you did, he feels like a great burden was lifted getting it over with. His wife was so bad that he got 100% custody of the kids.



Good luck to you
 

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I've Survived Everything!
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cads03 said:
Oh, you mean the 42" plasma and the lawn chair? :laugher:

Hey, where's Ghart - he's done this a few times hasn't he?
I'm here but like yourself, not as much as I used to be!

You are correct, I have been down that road a couple times.

My first marriage ended after 7 years when my son was 16 months old and my daughter was 6 years old. That was 1976, I had custody of my children from day one, very rare for the time!

Most guys who have gone through divorce understand the difficulties of the event but it will be the women here who will understand how tough it is to be a single parent. I didn't remarry until 1980 to Mrs Ghart #2, that marriage ended in 1998.

Despite the pain, life does go on and things get better. Mrs ghart #3 and myself will celebrate 5 years of marriage at the end of this month.

Life is Grand! :bigsmile:
 

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cads03 said:
Hey everybody, it's been a while since I've been on - I've been pretty consumed with life.

Some of you probably remember I had a baby about 5 months ago. She is absolutely wonderful, healthy, and growing like a weed, I don't want anyone to get nervous that something may be wrong with her after reading my opening comment. However, my marriage is not ok - in fact, it's over, well, except for the legal part.

Now, I'm not on here for a pity party, please don't think that - in fact, it was a decision I've been wrestling with for quite some time. We had some trouble a year and 1/2 ago now, tried working on it, wound up expecting, then not long after I felt like we fell back into the same rut. Since she was expecting, I thought maybe things would change and when we had the baby, they just didn't. I realized there is never a good time to get a divorce, especially with a child involved, but the only saving grace I had going for me is that my daughter will have no memory of the rough times we've been going through right now and by the time she is old enough to have memories, it is just the way life is.

So, my boat has not even left the shed this year and probably will not for the remainder of the season. The house I built is for sale, she is living there and I have an apartment, but you know what - I feel a huge weight lifted from my chest, and I've began moving on with life. Now it is a waiting game with the court system, but everything is set up. I get my daughter 3 times a week and things have settled down significantly, which is why I can finally come on here and talk about it a little. I will say, things were pretty hairy for a while, and I'm sure I'm not out of the woods yet, but I know I'm getting close.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to let everyone know I haven't forgotten about speedwake and I'll probably be on more going forward than I have been the past 4 or 5 months.
Sorryto hear about that ! I wondered where the heck you have been.. Not many on here to talk UFC with!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Re: Re: Haven't been here for a while

danh63 said:
Sorryto hear about that ! I wondered where the heck you have been.. Not many on here to talk UFC with!
Shoot, I haven't kept up with anything - I don't even know how my boy Hughes is doing, or even IF he's doing.
 

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Sorry to hear about the split. It is hard. But, you got a great "parting gift" from it ... your daughter. Shared custody does work. As your daughter gets older, you may need to adjust the visitation schedules ... but it is doable.

I'm divorced and have shared custody -- one week with me; one week with their day (Friday's are the swap day -- after school).

In a sense, you are right about it being easier since your daughter won't know the difference about visiting mom and then visiting dad. It was hard for my boys (especially my youngest) when their dad and I split.

Now, it won't be easy... but, like you said, having that weight lifted will make you a better parent.

Good luck to you!

Oh.. and keep the lines of communication open with your ex-wife. Remember, you two will ALWAYS be connected and will have to deal with each other because of your daughter. The two of you will need to co-parent.
 

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ghart said:

Life is Grand! :bigsmile:

.....and divorce is ten grand! :rolleyes:



Going through this as we speak, but my savings is we never maried. It was rough road before my boy came about. Then things changed and was real nice for awhile until about a year and a half ago. Right now things just plain out suck! She cant afford to move into herown place, and I refuse to move out of my house. I will never kick her out , but I have been encouraging her to leave. It has been real tough these past few months. I just hang in ther for my boy..he will be 4 in a couple weks. Breaks my heart that he will have to go on with mom and dad in separate homes. It will be hard, but life goes on. I have discovered that this scenario is not uncommon. I am amazed at how many families break apart out there :(
 

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Dayum guys, Sorry to hear it for both of ya. I like Ghart have had my share of wifes.............on # 3 now myself and as bad as it was to leave and start over everytime it has been worth the bad times. Good luck to both of you.
 

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Re: Re: Re: Haven't been here for a while

cads03 said:
Shoot, I haven't kept up with anything - I don't even know how my boy Hughes is doing, or even IF he's doing.
Hughes got beat last time out and I hear he has his buddy next.

There have been some real good fights as of late and I think Rampage got a bad decision his last fight

Ice Man has a good fight coming so you have a lot of catching up to do
 
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