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Discussion Starter #1
How to get out of a speeding ticket!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Sure, but there is no gun in there

Glove box opens,,, no gun.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
this year !!!!
 

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cool. I think Karen and I will go out and try that one now...

:) jeff

if you don't see any posts from me in the next few days, it's because the County lock-up doesn't have Internet access for prisoners...
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I'll bail ya out Jeff !!
 

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JEFFJ said:
... if you don't see any posts from me in the next few days, it's because the County lock-up doesn't have Internet access for prisoners...
Are you kidding, this is Cecil County... you'll get nothing but bread, water, and a nice White Supremest boyfriend named 'Earl'... with no front teeth... and a big buckshot scar... and a beer gut... and bad grammar! :gunner:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
and no teeth,, so when,,,,,ah never mind
 

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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,squeel like a pig :D da da da da da da da da da

But Jeff's a bad dude, he knows fungul,he'd be the one doing the riding:laugher:
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I dont think your making Karen feel any more secure Paul !!!
 

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Boatnut - Obnoxus has a new excuse now........"My brother is a state cop!!"

It has worked a couple of times, but I think his 9 lives is running out!:gunner: :gunner:
 

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How about: Thank you for stopping me officer. I have been running 80mph on the water all day and 55 felt a little slow.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Gilla,,, you'll fit right in, in here !!!
 
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