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Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic weekend
> vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood.
> When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
>
> She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm
> them up."
>
> After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back
> and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"
>
> She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and that will
> warm them up."
>
> He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out
> one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he
> again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"
>
> She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud,...
> don't your *ears* ever get cold?!?!?"
 

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:eek: :eek: :eek: :D
 

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:laugher: :laugher:
 

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ok, here's mine

Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally
dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table & emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Sue
followed & asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under
there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial (as well as the moral) implication of this offer, John indicates that he is indeed interested. Sue tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons & John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2pm Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the
planned time at 2pm sharp & after paying her the agreed amount, they went to the bedroom & closed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed & left. As usual, Bill ! came home from work at 6pm & upon entering the house, asks his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?". With a lump in her throat, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And
did he give you $500?".
In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out and after
mustering up her best poker face, she replied, "Well, yes, in fact hedid give me $500". Bill, with a satisfied
look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping
he did. He came by the office this morning & borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back." :laugh:
 
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