politically correct

Due to the climate of political correctness

now pervading America ,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .


And furthermore




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:




1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'




2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'




3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'




4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'




5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'




6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:




1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'




2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'




3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS'




4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'




5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ***' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'



6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'